Trip, Tumble, Fall
by KeeksWho
Summary: Dean and Cas had been friend's forever. But after a kiss that no one saw coming could everything change?
1. Chapter 1

(Chapter One, The Build)

Cas and Dean had always been friends. Cas didn't have a memory without his burly other half. They went to the same daycare together, and kindergarten, ended up being neighbors and best friends. In all this time together Cas had never stopped and thought, I'd like to fuck Dean Winchester. He'd never wanted to kiss him, not even once, neither had Dean as far as Cas knew.

Sure they'd had some weird encounters over the years, even had sex in the same bed once. Going at it with your best friend beside you might seem weird, but to them it really hadn't. They were close enough to deal and it's not like they'd never seen each other naked over the years (Skinny dipping at Manitoc lake was a yearly tradition). And really everyone knew how close the Masters sisters, Meg and Ruby, were, well if the rumors were true. So for them, one bed worked just fine.

Everyone also knew how crazy their dad Azazel was. So when Cas came too loud and Lilith, their mom, came in the boys high tailed it out of there. (Did he mention it was their parent's bed? Yeah neither had the girls.) So even when both boys ended up half naked in dean 67 Chevy Impala It should have been weird but it wasn't. The boy's ran for their lives to the car. Dean watched to make sure they weren't being fallowed, clapped Cas on the back, and laughed long and hard.

"What?" Cas had asked.

"Nothing, just haven't had that much fun in while, years." Dean had said.

"Perhaps in the future Dean, you should let me pick which house of iniquities we visit." Cas said with a deep serious voice.

"You were complaining ten minutes ago man, now get your damn pants on."

Yeah Cas and Dean were closer than Cas was to any of his actual brother. It's not that he didn't love his family but they weren't Dean. Dean had always been the one to look out for Cas. When Cas' cousin Uriel used to push Cas down and tease him for being such a little 'angle' Dean had put a stop to it, getting involved when even the teachers hadn't.

Dean had no problem jumping from the firemen's pole and landing on Uriel. He hit Uriel till he cried and begged Dean to stop. Dean did only after Uriel agreed to tell Cas how very sorry he was. Uriel did and had liked Dean since that day. Even if it was very love and hate and he'd never admit it. Dean had been the one to help Cas stay an 'angle' as long as he wanted to and when Cas decided to stop, well Dean helped him there too.


	2. Chapter 2

(Chapter Two, The Trip)

Dean always says he was a bad influence on Cas, that he had been the reason he'd fallen. In a way Dean's right. Cas fell to fallow Dean. At first Cas hadn't even realized he was choosing. It had started with the first fight, well physical, they'd gotten into together.

Dean had always gotten in fights, for a number of reasons. When he and Matthew got in a brawl because Dean slept with Lisa, Matthew's girlfriend. That happened more times than Cas could count. Dean got in a lot of bar fights too. Why should it matter that he was only thirteen and shouldn't have even been there? He had a fake ID and was great at hustling pool. That was till it was time for the unlucky losers to pay up. But Dean could hold his own, not only did he not bring Cas into his shady deals, but he's never pull him into a fight.

Cas had been in his share of fights too. The fact that his dad had run out on Cas' family years ago was an easy target at school. But people learned quickly that if you brought that sour subject up you were going to find the floor fast. Cas had a steadfast patience till you brought up his father. But his family's name was not Deans to defend, so Cas never bothered Dean with these matters. They were usually settled before Dean had even heard about them.

This time was different though. Alistair Masters (yeah the brother) was just going at Dean one day after school. This was before Dean banged his sister though. Cas didn't know what the fight had been about. Alistair really seemed like he wanted to break Dean. Not just physically, no mentally too. He was telling Dean how little like the 'Great John Winchester' he was. How he'd never amount to anything. At least John had done something with his life, made a few waves.

Cas had never understood that. Alistair talked so highly of John even though he was the man going after his father. Everyone knew how badly John wanted to take the - empire down. John never was one for subtleties. Alistair just kept talking about him like he was faultless and Dean was nothing. Like hell Cas would just sit by and let that happen.

To top everything off, he had two guys holding Dean so he could really 'hit' all his insults home. John was a good man, but Dean, Dean was better. Cas took in the whole seen quickly. He had been just walking by with his twin Jimmy at the time. Had almost missed it, but he didn't. No he saw the fight and he got pissed, ran straight to Dean's assistance dragging Jimmy unwillingly into the fight with him.

They had won once the fight was more even of course. Jimmy and Castiel had martial arts training and Dean had plenty of practice street fighting, so maybe even wasn't the best way to put it. Once Dean was free for his two man hold he took Alistair down. He beat him till Cas had to pull him off. Alistair was really bloody and his friends had to help him away.

Dean pushed Cas away when he tried to check out him ribs and face, but Cas was always persistent. Dean would be bruised and soar but at least he was walking away from the fight. The real damage was the things Alistair had said to Dean. Digging under his skin where Cas couldn't reach and that made Cas want to hunt him back down. Smite him for the pain he caused his best friend. Instead he walked with Dean in silence all the way home.

Jimmy had been pissed about the whole thing. Sure he cared about Dean and yeah he loved his brother but he wasn't a fighter. He made sure Cas knew that. Made sure he knew he was done, tired of the fight Cas kept bringing him back into. He didn't care that it was for the greater good, that Dean was family or even what people said about their dad anymore. He just wanted to rest. Cas could give him that.

That first step had been so easy. Cas hadn't even realized at the time that this was the first step. Though now it seemed so clear. Now he could see perfectly what at the time he couldn't realize. Cas was plummeting.


	3. Chapter 3

**Beer Chasers **

Dean had been drinking since he was nine years old. Perhaps it should have been shocking that John had never said anything, but like so many other things in their lives this never seemed strange. Dean never lied about it and besides Dean was already working to help support the Sam (Deans little brother). Had been for some time now, working with their dad. So "if he could work like an adult, he could act like one, well while he was at home at least" John had said once.

John Winchester was a bounty hunter. No to say he was a bounty hunter would be an insult. The man was a 'Hunter'. People knew his name all over the US. John was offered a TV spot before anyone even knew who Dog the bounty hunter was. However John turned them down, he knew keeping a low profile was the way to go. He got called in for cases in thirty six of the fifty states and by three branches of the government. The man was good and wouldn't be where he was if not for his family.

No, Dean drinking wasn't a new thing to anyone in their close circle. It was when Cas found himself drinking that things were new. In all the years Cas' had never drank with Dean. However he did in time work with Dean and John. In time meaning a year and three months after Dean had started. In retrospect John really should have seen that coming. In all the years the boys had been friends they'd never spent as much time together as they had that year.

So Cas started working with the Winchesters on some cases, then all of them. At first only doing the paper work, helping find cases, and doing research but that only lasted about six months before Cas insisted they 'stop leaving him at home like a good wife'. So the boys buckled and let him come on a few cases. Mostly stake outs at first or having Cas as the look out. It was on one of those very cases that Cas helped in the chase for the first time.

Cas was the look out while the boys infiltrated the perp's girlfriends house. Dean had gone in through that attic window while John went right through the front door. They never would have seen the guy climb through the bathroom window of the second floor. Never would have been able to catch him even if they had. That was when Cas had decided to stop just being a look out.

Cas took off after the perp from his spot in a near tree. Cas shimmied to the end of the branch he was on and got onto the roof of the neighbor's house. From there he quickly and quietly stalked the perp. He waited for him at the end of the house and when the guy tried to round the corner into that back yard Cas leapt. He land square on the guy and when he began to fight, Cas 'helped' him eat dirt. Cas scared the shit out of John and Dean, when he jumped from the roof, the guy had, had a gun his girlfriend had told them. Cas had quickly wrestled that away thought and when it was all over he broke the guys nose and left arm.

John swore Cas was always welcome on the team after that. He had even tried to give Cas a piece of the pay after that case, but no way was Cas taking from their table. So Dean had John call Michael (Cas' oldest brother) and get the ok for Cas to stay over. Michael couldn't tell John no so when Dena had come into the living room with a rated R movie and two beers Cas didn't fight him.

That was how Cas drank for the first time, with Dean that night. Turns out Cas could drink, _A lot_. It was only after Dean had pulled out the good stuff and Cas had six shots and three beers did he start 'feeling something'. Dean was really impressed since he had been drunk for some time trying to keep up with Cas. Yeah, Cas was getting the hang of falling.


	4. Chapter 4

**Enjoying the Ride **

Disobeying his brothers had to be Cas' favorite step. At the time he still didn't realize all that was happening. Hadn't decided to fall, or even know that he was yet. He just knew he was making new choices and he liked it. Cas even shared it with Dean.

"If I tell you something will you promise not to tell anyone?" Cas had asked while staying with Dean one night.

"Yeah sure Cas, what's up?" Dean had asked sitting out in his full bed that He and Cas were sharing.

"There are many times I'd rather be here with you then home with my brothers." Cas was afraid Dean would say something like 'stop being such a girl' or 'and I thought Sammy was the girl'. Instead he just smiled at Cas and said "Me too Cas, me too."

Cas and Dean where thirteen now and so much had changed in both of their lives, it was getting easier for Cas to want this. He had started with lying, he'd tell his brother's he'd be at Dean's house when really he was at the lake. Or that they were studying when they were really at a party. This was the case many nights. Between Cas' drinking and Dean's smooth talking everyone wanted them at their parties.

Funny thing Cas was good at it, really good. His brothers never even questioned him. Really why would they though? Cas had always been such a good student, always listened to what his brothers told him to do.

He probably would of never been caught at all if world hadn't of gotten to his brother Gabriele, who went to the same school. There had been fire works the first time Michael had went to 'retrieve' Cas from one of those very parties. So Cas began simply sneaking out after a while. He didn't even bothers with a cover story anymore.

Now all the Novak's loved Dean Winchester, even if they couldn't stand him. Almost seemed to think he was chosen or something just going down the wrong paths. They really didn't like the road he was leading their little brother down. See Cas was the youngest Novak, and even though he was very capable of taking care of himself the rest seemed to think they needed to.

So they thought they made the right decision when they pulled Cas finally away from Dean some. Cas however wasn't happy about it, and Dean well they did try to pacify him. They sent Jimmy over to hang out with Dean for a while. As if they looking the same would be enough. It's not even that they weren't close friends because they were. Dean, Cas, Jimmy and Sam used to be quit a team and later just the tree when they got 'too old' to play with Sammy.

In the more recent years Dean and Cas had slip off for Jimmy more. Dean and Cas were working and parting together, while Jimmy studied and played soccer. So yeah they were friends but you didn't just try to swap the boys out and hope Dean didn't notices. Jimmy found himself on a bus home form a two town over.

"I'm done." Jimmy had shouted when he walked in the door at three in the morning the very first night. , effectively waking the whole house up.

"What happened to you?" Michael asked in a very un-amused voice after taking in his younger brothers appearance.

"Is that glitter?" Ana asked while sleepily rubbing her eyes to make sure.

"And what's that smell?" Had thrown in Gabriel while everyone else just tried to figure out what was going on. Cas didn't seem surprised in the least. He just smiled at his older twin.

"Club Chautauqua ?" Cas asked Jimmy dead pan.

"I hate you" was all Jimmy had said to him then looking at Michael went on "I'm done!" Find someone else." He then stomped up to have a shower and go to bed.

They didn't try to stop Cas from going to the Winchesters after that. They let him go back with the promise he'd remember where his loyalty should lie. Cas knew where his loyalty lye, but he played their game for a while. Well for about two weeks. That's when he started not coming home for days at a time. Yeah Cas could really start to like this trip if he'd just close his eyes and let go.


	5. Chapter 5

AN : I'm updating soon just like nutmeg17 asked. And hey I'm trying to make them kind of long, but this is my first fan-fiction so be happy it's not a one shot :p.

Sixteen and All Grown Up

To say it pissed Michael off when Cas stopped coming home all together would be an understatement. And really saying Cas never came home was an over statement. He came home every Wednesday to have dinner with the family. Went to all of Jimmy and Ana's home games and spent at least one other day a week with at least those two. Michael didn't see it that way, many nights Cas didn't sleep in his bed and it was obvious how much that unsettled him.

Cas however was at the Winchester's house most nights. Michael knew that if he only looked out the window and saw the Impala there. It was perhaps the fact that it didn't get there till three in the morning that bothered him. Cas didn't care though, not like Michael was his father. No they had no father, John being the closest for all of them. He would never fight Cas on spending more time with him.

All the Novak boys and men looked at John as a father figure. Gabe came over to watch scary movies with him, Michael to work on cars, Cas in working cases, Jimmy to pass the ball around; Zack to just to talk about life sometime, even Balli came over just to make fun of the movies John and Gabe watched. They were all at the Winchesters more than needed, but John didn't care they were family. Michael had even told them once over diner that someone asked John if all those kids in the picture in their living room were his and he had said "Yes". He didn't even take time to think about it just answered. Yeah no way any of them would tell Cas not to be around John.

It was more Dean they worried about, Dean, who would 'drag' Cas all over God's green earth, at all hours of the night. Thinking Dean pushed Cas to drink and disobey his family, Dean who cause Cas to get in so many fights at school. Dean who was surely pushing Cas into bed with dozen of women, they were wrong though. Dean only let Cas go with him now because Cas was ready. Cas wanted this life he was living now and Dean would never force it or take it from him. And for the record Cas was still a virgin.

Cas began working more and more with John and Dean in return for John saying nothing about Cas always crashing at his house. Cas was family and even though he felt he should earn his keep he would have been welcome any way. He should have felt more a burden to dean whose bed he stayed in most nights. But if it hadn't been established yet, the boys had no limits. They'd share a kidney if they ever needed to.

No Dean was just fine with Cas curled up next to him. Even if some nights Cas ends up on Dean's side with his arm thrown over his body. Or a leg slipped snuggly between Deans. Dean never complained about it and most nights didn't even wake Cas or tell him in the morning. Just pushed him over or simply went back to sleep the way they were.

Dean however wasn't the only one who'd wake up in, what should have been strange situations. Dean was sexually active already. Had been for about two years, and really Cas wasn't surprised when Dean told him at the ripe age of fourteen how he'd "Banged a senior in her car." Really who would have been though? No what surprised Cas was how he'd wake up to Dean spooning him, and grinding slowly again his body. Like Dean Cas typically said nothing to Dean about these encounters. Even let Dean finish once or twice.

Why wouldn't Cas help a friend out, there were times Dean got no action because they were so busy with work? Or he couldn't get laid at a party because Cas was drunk and needed to get home. Many times he'd turn girls down for a good old fashioned sleep over because A) He wasn't going to make Cas go sleep at home because Dean wasn't at his house. B) Make Cas go home because he had a girl sleeping in his bed. So Dean would turn them down.

Turned them down every time but once, when he thought he'd be really funny and let the girl and Cas sleep all in his bed. That was awkward but not as awkward has when the girl tried to make a three some out of it. Listening to her give dean head had been bad enough. Would have been hot but the girl slurped and groaned through the whole thing. Cas finally got up and walked across the street to his house and slept in his very cold and unused bed. Dean had never done that again.

Cas should have felt like a burden to Dean but that never even crossed his mind. And so he worried about John, making sure he'd work for the right to stay there. John really did appreciate the help, Cas' martial arts skills came in handy. They didn't even fight him on getting in on the chase anymore and brought Sam if they HAD to have a look out. Those were Cas' favorite times, when all four of them went on a case and didn't role home till one or two in the morning, Sam fast asleep on Cas' shoulder while John and Dean talked about their next case.

For a while Cas would slump home after many of their cases. Getting in the door long after his family was asleep. Dean would try to get Cas to stay then even if he had already stayed the night before and the night before that. He'd make jokes about how Cas didn't sleep and that's why he never stayed.

"I'm starting to think you may be a vampire man." Dean would joke at two in the morning. Not knowing how dead tired Cas really was.

"Anne Rice or Stephanie Myer's vampire?" Cas would joke back.

"Would have to be a Twilight vamp because I've seen you out in the daylight."

"I have you know I do not sparkle Dean." Cas would say in his deep voice that always caught Dean's attention.

"I don't know Cas you were sparkling pretty good last Thursday."

"Dean we were at a club, a gay bar at that how do you expect me not to sparkle. " Those boys through glitter around like every nights a parade."

"You love that bar and you know it Cas." Dean would wink at Cas while starting coffee.

"Just because I don't whore myself out to anything with a wet center doesn't make me gay Dean." But I do love the bar and they are a lot of fun."

"Yeah and how many places wouldn't even check our ID's man?"

"Please when we started going we were thirteen Dean, do you think anyone thought we were twenty one?"

"Hey! Those were good ID's man, I've gotten in plenty of bars with it." Dean would say indignantly.

"It wasn't the ID's that got us in that club though Dean; it was your pretty face." The boys would have a good laugh and talk till the coffee was done. Sighing Cas would sit down for 'one' cup of coffee. That would turn into three or he'd end up sleeping over. That's how Cas ended up there all the time from three nights, to four nights, to seven nights a week.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: I'm updating soon because you girls are so sweet. I have the next three chapters wrote I just need to type them. I'll work on getting them up as soon as I can.

Children in the Attic

It was never that Cas didn't want to be with the Winchesters. I wasn't late nights or hard work. It wasn't waking up at six in the morning to Dean 'reliving the pressure'. It had never been any of these things that made Cas want to go home. It was for Sam.

Cas had never wanted to take from Dean and Sam's morning routine. No one ever said anything but Cas always felt like such an intruder when he was there. Sam and Dean would move around the kitchen perfectly. How Sam would get juice, while Dean made eggs and they wouldn't let Cas help. So he just stood there and observed.

Dean and Sam had been making their own breakfast for years. John was always gone or had been up far too late the night before to bother getting up. They didn't care though, they were a team. And Dean always said

"We should be happy we aren't living in motel rooms across the state. I'll take making my own breakfast any day."

Sam had simply shaken his head in agreement with his brother.

It wasn't just being there in the morning though. It was the night too, because that was when Sam would come to talk to Dean. If he had any questions, fear, nightmares it was Dean he would go to, Dean's bed that he would crawl into in the middle of the night. And many times Cas he would lie up against till he fell back asleep. The boys never said that he took from this time. They always offered for him to stay, or bushed in many cases. He couldn't shake that feeling though, not for years.

It was Dean's sixteenth birthday that really changed everything. Cas was already sixteen and they were going to go out driving later. A permit was just as good as a license right? Eh who cared they had fake ID's. John had other ideas though. Dean didn't even think John would be home, he had been known to forget the boy's birthday's over the years. When he did it to Sam he still had Dean to make the 'magic' happen. Dean didn't have that though, sure Cas, and sometimes his family, would do something for Dean. There was only so much he could swing though.

So this year not only was John there, he had no work for the day. No plans to drag the boys out. No cases, strip clubs, or failed family diners. Instead he handed Dean two hundred dollars and a box of condoms. Dean just looked at his dad for a minute before smiling and pocketing both.

"That's not all I got for you boy." John had said gruff and sleep worn. Perhaps he had worked the night before to get those gifts.

"Oh yeah?" Dean said.

"Yeah I've got a surprise for you, well for you and Cas."

"Uh?" Was all Cas threw in, but not Dean.

"Is it a stripper?" Dean had joked, causing John to laugh. More out of the fact it made Cas turn so white before turning pink.

"No not this year boy, we'll talk when you turn eighteen." The thing was Cas couldn't tell if John was joking.

"It's in my office why don't you go get it." John gestured his head toward his office.

"And take Cas with you."

"Kay."

Was all Dean threw out as he grabbed Cas by the wrist and they both headed to Johns office. When they open the door they weren't in and office at all. Instead they were in a room, a small room but a room none the less. The boys looked around at the twin bed simple dresser and single night stand before turning back to the door where John was now leaning.

"See I was thinking." John started when both boys finally looked at him.

"I always had that big bed room that I never really even use and there you and Cas still share that full bed all the time. "

Cas looked at Dean and he had a look on his face like he was catching on, Cas was still lost.

"And really Dean you always took the smallest room so Sammy got a good one."

He smiled at Dean at that point.

"So I was thinking why don't I give you may room, with a new bed and dressers and give Cas you old room." John trailed of after that.

"Are you serious dad?" Dean smiled.

"Yeah and really I never got Cas anything this year so it worked."

"You gave me fifty bucks, John." Cas chose to speak up.

"Eh money doesn't count boy, you should know that by now. So Dean you gonna go check out your new room?"

"Yeah"

Was all Dean said before heading upstairs to Johns old room. When he walked in though he froze causing Cas to run into his back. The room was done already. It had a new queen bed with gently used furniture that neither boy had seen before, all in black and very Dean. ACDC posters littered the walls and a CD case was mounted to the fare one. That room was cool.

"Got you a new bed boy and gave Sammy my old one so I could have his. Thought Cas could have yours. That work for you boys?"

"Yeah!" They said in unison before a really rare thing in the Winchester house happened, they hugged.

"I hope this will help you feel more at home Cas." John whispered to Cas after Dean went farther into the room to look around. And really, it did.


	7. Chapter 7

.AN: I put off work to get this up so you better lover it. This is one of my favorite chapters.

**Tumble**

This step, yes this one had been the one Cas had the hardest time with. He'd never even meant a girl he wanted to be with. Like everything Cas couldn't even see how they had gotten here. How they had went from a fight with his cousin Ralph to having sex. SEX! He thought he might throw up at any minuet. He'd done many things, was ready for so much more but this was too new.

It had all started with the fight. Ralph was going off about how Cas' father was dead. He'd never be coming back because 'he abandoned his family for another woman and then he died alone with none of his children around'. Cas could not it would not believe this. And even for his family he wouldn't let someone talk this way. Lucky for Ralph he was two yards over or he'd be out cold by now.

"You should stop talking about things you do not know Raphael."

Cas had said in such a low dangerous voice that even Dean had stepped back.

"Or what Castiel? I'm sorry your brothers choose to save you from that truth, but that's just what it is, the truth." "Your father is dead."

Ralph had to know he was breaking Cas' heart but he didn't seem to care. No way Cas would show any outward sigh of hispain, instead too ready to cause outward pain to Ralph.

"No!"

Cas had shouted first signs' of his facade fading.

"So what little Cassy? If he isn't dead he just left you? Right after you where born to top it off? It must have been you, he loved you so little, and you were such a disappointment he had to leave. Yeah I could see that."

Cas didn't even wait for Ralph to finish; he was already out and across the yard jumping the first fence before Ralph and Uriel had started to run off, Uriel not looking like he was into the 'game'. Ralph could run if he wanted to, Cas would have to look for him.

Cas went to Ralph's house, but he didn't answer when Cas calmly knocked. Instead his mom did.

"Aunt Missouri" Cas said in way of greeting.

"Cas babe what can I do for you?" Missouri asked sweet as ever.

"And hello Dean." She smiled back at Dean.

"Missouri." Dean nodded.

"Is Ralph home?" Cas asked sounding calm, but he wasn't fooling Dean or his aunt.

"No sugar, anything I can help you with?" She asked.

"No he and I simply have some things to discuss. Please let him know I am looking for him and would like him to be at my house tomorrow"

"Sure sweaty" Cas nodded to his aunt and with that Cas turned to leave.

"Cas?" Missouri called out.

"Yes aunt Missouri?" Cas turned to face her.

"Just keep in mind he's family, ok?"

"Of course, but I cannot over look his comments this time." Cas said cause Missouri to sigh.

"I know babe, but remember he doesn't have a daddy either."

"Then perhaps" Cas said now turning around again.

"He should not throw stones." And he walked away.

It was later at the Winchester house in Dean's room that the real trouble started.

"So you gonna kick Ralphs ass tomorrow man?" Dean asked lying over his bed.

"That is not likely Dean."

"What do you mean; I've seen you take bigger than him?"

"Yes but Ralph is family Dean, and it's likely he won't even come alone."

"You think he'll bring back up?" Dean sounded shocked.

"Yes Dean."

"You want me there as back up man?" Dean was now sitting up fully invested in the conversation.

"No Dean I do not believe that will be necessary."

"Do you not want me there then?"

Cas looked at Dean now, saw how he almost looked hurt.

"No Dean I believe I'd like you to be there, perhaps your presence alone will cause him shame if he brings others."

"So if he does bring help then what are your chances of making it out in one piece?"

"Low I suppose Dean."

"What are my chances?" Dean asked smiling now.

"They are high Dean." Cas smiled back.

"So you might die tomorrow, and to top that you're still a virgin?"

Cas didn't answer Dean just looked away as he turned red.

"Unless I missed something?" Dean was getting in Cas' space now."

"You did not Dean." And in a flash Dean was up.

"Get your coat, let's go." Dean was already head to the door.

"Where are we going Dean?" Cas asked.

"There are two things I'm sure about in life." Dean said holding up his head and pointing to his fingers.

"One Burt and Ernie are gay." Cas laughed at this, Dean had been saying that since he was eight.

"And two, no way I'm letting you die a virgin."

And that was how they found themselves at the Collins.

"Dean, even Misha knows I shouldn't be here."

Cas said, his voice already sounded so defeated. If Dean hadn't backed down from this idea yet he wouldn't be.

"I'm not ready."

"Misha said that?"

Cas looked away with eyes the size of saucers. Desperately wanting to change the subject, leave, anything but what Dean brought him here to do. Instead he chugged the beer that Jen brought him.

"Misha's a whore."

Dean said and even though Cas knew that Dean was joking, he also knew it to be true. Cas really didn't want this. Not his first time with a woman of such loose morals.

"This seems wrong Dean. You know she's probably only doing this to get back at her dad." Cas was pulling at straws now.

"Come on Cas what easy girl doesn't have daddy issues?" Dean shot back with ease.

"I'm not sure Dean."

Cas' voice was starting to shake and he tried hard to keep Dean from hearing it. His face was hot and he knew his eyes were still large. Surely he could talk Dean out of this and still save face. Couldn't he?

"Cas man, you full on rebelled against your family, slut-ting around should be one of the perks."

It was then that Misha came back to retrieve her pray. Cas took in her boy shorts and bra. How hair almost black hair caught the light and her milky skin almost glowed. He knew he should want to be with her. Knew he should have jumped at the chance. It was her eyes though. Their bright blue could have been beautiful, but the studied him, devoured him. This woman could not be his first. He was no girl but he at least wanted it to be a found memory.

Cas looked like he was going to cry. Cas felt like he might have a panic attack as he tried to think of a way out of this. It must have been on his face because Dean took pity on Cas.

"Don't let me push you Cas." Dean had said with such a serine look on his face. Like he just caught on to what this would mean to Cas.

"Dean?" Cas didn't want to hope too much.

"Come on man lets go home." Was all Dean said and Cas jumped into step behind him. Misha was not happy and Jen was upset she didn't get a shot at Dean, but he didn't seem to care.

….Dean would care…


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Hope you guy's like this. This is when things start happening.

The Breaking Point

….Dean would care, Cas knew that.…

Sam, little Sammy Winchester was kissing him. That wasn't even the worst part, the worst part was all he could think about was Dean. How was this going to make Dean feel? Was Dean going to be mad at Cas for this? What would this do to their family. What would Dean say when he found out? Would Dean be jealous?

And that was it. That was the thought that jeered Cas out. Made his mind work again, made his body moved. He pushed Sam off of him gently but very firm.

"Sam no!"

Cas said his voice raspy from little use. Sam looked hurt, maybe even scared. So much like he did after a nightmare when he used to crawl up in Dean's bed and lie again Cas. That wasn't what caught Cas the most. Sam looked confused. How long had he let the kiss go on for?

"I'm sorry Sam"

Cas started. He didn't really know how to do this.

"Your like a brother to me" Was all he could come up with.

Realization dawned on Sam's face.

"Man Cas I'm sorry, I just thought"

Sam didn't finish, he just trailed off pleading to Cas with his eyes.

"Why Samuel?"

Cas' voice dropped now. To the low gravely sound he reserved for fights. He had to know why Sam would think this.

"That for one"

Sam shot the sentence out and Cas didn't know what he meant. Choosing to just stare Sam into continuing.

"You call me Samuel, no one calls me that." This didn't make any since to Cas.

"And you always let me run around with you and Dean."

Sam kept going with his strange logic.

"Plus you hug me Cas!"

Sam sounded like he was begging Cas to get it now, but he couldn't.

"We're friends Sam!" Cas was getting agitated now.

"How should I treat you? Should I leave you behind? Call you Sammy, hit your arm?"

Cas was stepping into Sam's space now, pushing away for the wall he'd been thrust against.

"Tell me how I can no longer miss lead you" Cas knew he must be scaring Sam now, but he couldn't care.

"I just thought…" Sam tried again, but Cas cut him off.

"I'm Not Gay Sam!"

Now Sam looked so small again the hall way wall. Did he think Cas would hit him? Sam said nothing only looked at Cas like he'd seen him for the first time.

"You thought I was?"

Cas' voice raising now, had so of been almost squeaking.

"I don't know Cas"

He didn't know? Sam didn't know why he thought one of his oldest friends were gay? Didn't know why he thought it'd be a great idea to kiss said friend? No, he didn't know. Cas snapped, shoving Sam into the wall.

"Why?" Cas was full on yelling now.

Sam shrunk farther into the wall, even after Cas released him.

"Why?" Sam squeaked out.

"Why, did you think I was gay?" Cas was calming down some.

He didn't like scarring his friend this way. He just didn't get this. Could rap his head a round it. Why would Sam change everything, just to say he didn't know?

"Oh"

Sam no longer looked like he was going to cry, he was crying. Two small lines running the whole of his face, and it broke Cas' heart.

"Come on Sam" Cas said now resting his hand on Sam's left shoulder.

He meant this as a signal to stop. They could drop this. He could take Sam to the bathroom and clean him up. Wash this whole thing down the drain and hopefully never talk about it again. That is not how Sam took it however.

"You're always in my personal space." Sam shouted.

Cas had wanted to drop this, but Sam took it as Cas pushing on. Wanting to know and his gentler tone seemed to encourage Sam.

"You stair at Dean, and not just stair, full on eye sex him."

Sam had started out sorrowed and mink but by then end he sounded so sure of himself.

"Have you ever even had a girlfriend Cas?"

Cas hit the wall right by Sam's head. Satisfied when Sam flinched.

"No Sam I've never had a girlfriend"

Cas started low and terrifying with his mouth right by Sam's ear.

"But I, unlike you, have had sex Sam. Lots of Sex with lots of _**girls**_"

With that Cas pushed off the wall by Sam's head and walked away.

Cas was almost completely down the hall before Dean came jogging up to him.

"What the Hell was that man?"

Cas kept on walking, he didn't even look at Dean.

"Hey"

Dean tried again, but still didn't look. So Dean grabbed Cas shoulder. Pulling Cas around so he would have to face him.

"Do you think I'm gay?"

Cas had it blurted out before he could sot himself. Now Cas really wished he wasn't facing Dean. Dean looked so serious for a minuet, like he really needed to think about this. Then laughed, laughed long and hard.

"Oh man Cas you always know how to make me laugh."

Dean bent over a bit while he finished laughing.

"I needed that man. A lot"

"No Dean really"

Dean stopped laughing and looked at Cas long and hard again. Then Cas could just see it dawn on Deans face that he meant it.

"No Cas!" Dean shouted.

He grabbed Cas at the same time. Like he could shake this fact into Cas.

"I've _**SEEN**_ you have sex with chicks" Dean stressed.

He looked Cas right in the face. Hands still on his shoulders demanding his attention.

"Why?"

Cas hadn't though this through at all. How would he tell Dean his baby brother had just kissed him? He really debated whether he should. Dean was his best friend, if he didn't tell him who would he tell?

"Sam kissed me" Cas said flatly.

"He what?" Dean asked

Pulling back from Cas dean studied his face to see if he was joking. He must of found his answer because then he asked

"When? No why?" Dean was obviously tying to wrap his head around this.

"He thought I was gay" Cas supplied.

"What?" Dean's face scrunched up.

"But you're a whore"

"Thanks Dean, but honestly that's what I said."

"So he really thought the 'great Castiel' was gay?"

Dean had his signature smile on his face now. He thought this was funny and that really pissed Cas off.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Dean"

This was not funny.

"No but it makes since" Dean said deep in thought now.

"Dean" Cas said in a low growl.

"No not you, Sammy" Cas felt himself relax some.

"Why?"

"Well yesterday morning, at breakfast, Sam told me he thought he was gay."

It still didn't make since to Cas though.

"When I asked him why he thought that he said he had the hotts for a guy."

"Sam thinks I'm hot?" Cas blurted out.

"He refused to tell me who actually. Maybe it was you, maybe he just wanted to see how it felt with someone he trusted."

Dean stopped for a sec and cocked a brow at Cas.

"Why, you want him to think you're hot Cas."

"I hate you" Cas said it but there was no real malice behind it.

"I'm sure it was you Cas." Dean winked.

Cas shifted un-computably

"Some how that doesn't make me feel any better." Cas said.

Letting out a long breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"I do not feel the same way about him Dean. Will this ruin what we have?"

Cas knew he could be loosing three of the closest people to him in one foul swoop.

"No Cas, you should know you'll never loose me." Dean said.

He placed his hand back up on Cas' shoulder to emphasize this.

"And really don't worry Cas. Sam's not gay, he's just curious. It'll pass Cas give it time"

The way Dean said this left little room for Cas to argue. To point out that Sam had just been trying to stick his tong down Cas' throat. Or that Cas was very much a male. Instead he just asked

"How are you so sure Dean?"

"Cause Cas, I know him"

"As do I Dean" Cas butted in.

It was offensive to think Cas didn't know Sam. They'd know each other Sam's whole life.

"I never saw this coming Dean"

"Trust me, It Will Pass. Anyway I happen to know to know Sammy boy has a stiffy for a freshman, named Jessica."

Dean winked at Cas, yeah that was girls name. Cas found it hard not to slip so easily back into the best friend, surrogate brother mode. So he let himself.

"Oh yeah? That does sound like a girls name to me"

"Yeah he's been tutering her. You should see how red he turns every time I ask about her. Little Sammy might be saying he likes you, and who can blame him, but he crushing hard on the _girl_."

"Priceless, what was her name again? I think I need to see this for myself."

"Jessica Moore."

Both boys feel into an silence for a step after that.

"Should I go talk to him?" Cas asked.

To be scared he was afraid Dean would say yes for a minuet there. He wasn't sure he was ready for that.

"No" Said Dean.

Cas let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I'll go" Dean smirked.

Cas smiled back he knew he was being a girl about this.

"Yeah Cas like I can't read you like a book. I know you don't want to deal with this. And even though you feel like a brother to him, he IS my little brother and I should talk to him."

"I'm sorry?" Cas offered.

"Dude it's not your fault you such a hot piece of man ass."

Dean's eyes lit up when he said this. Cas knew they were ok now.

"So will I see you down at lunch?" Dean asked.

Cas really couldn't help but notice how Dean sounded hopeful.

"Yap" Was all that Cas offered.

Then Dean was gone. Cas headed to lunch by himself, planning to wait for his brothers, both blood and not.


	9. Chapter 9

Cas knew, just like so many other times that this should be weird. The fact that Sam had kissed him, that Dean hadn't gotten mad. But what should have been the weirdest was that all Cas could think about was Dean.

During the whole kiss he had thought about his best friend. Still even on his way to his lunch table he still was. Rethinking every encounter they'd ever had. Maybe things should seem weird, they were supposed to.

Perhaps Cas and Dean were wrong from the beginning.

-Friends shouldn't skinny dip

-Friends shouldn't have sex in the same bed

-Friends shouldn't watch porn together

-Friends shouldn't touch….

What was that, that they'd shared?

Dean hadn't given a shit after they'd left Misha's that night. Cas really just thought Dean would drop him off at home. He might not be mad but that didn't mean he'd want to be around Cas after that show. Or worse Dean would be sporting a hard on from hell, and Cas didn't want to be around if he didn't get it out before it got to painful.

Instead they pulled up to dean house, Dean jumping straight out of that car.

"Come on"

Was all he offered a very confused Cas. So he simply followed him in. Dean heading straight up the stairs to his room. Only stopping half way up to fix Cas with a 'what the fuck do you think you're doing' look.

"Thought I'd just say hey to Sam." Cas offered.

Dean simply leveled Cas with another looked and making him follow obediently. Once they were in Deans rooms Dean half crawled under his bed. Throwing out old shirts, dirty shocks and one very green….something.

"What are you doing?" Cas asked with honest curiosity.

Dean didn't answer at first just continuing to dig under the bed. Just when Cas thought maybe he should ask again Dean's head popped out from under the bed.

"Got it!" He shouted victoriously.

"Got what?" This was getting old.

Dean pulled out a DVD case for Cas to see, but he couldn't tell what the movie was. Dean went straight to his TV popping the movie in. It took all of five seconds for Cas to figure out what it was.

"You're watching porn?" Cas deadpanned. This too surely should of surprised him.

"No, we are." Dean answered with a smile.

"Why?"

"Because man, I bet you've never even busted your nut to porn. " Hell I bet you've never even done it around a naked woman."

Dean had said it all as a joke. Cas could tell he didn't mean any malice by it. It hadn't stopped him face for turning ten shades of red. He simply looked away from Dean's stare. Scratching his neck and wishing this was over.

"Cas?" Dean leaned over his shoulder, where Cas now had his Back to Dean.

"Man, tell me you've masturbated" Dean's tone laced with no belief.

Cas turned his head farther from Dean, not meeting his eye.

"Not even once?" Now Dean was in awe.

"Just doin a little seed spilling?"

"I've never had the occasion." Was Cas' simple response.

Cas knew his face was red and he'd never felt this embarrassed and to be honest, horny.

The porn was still going on in the background.

"See, now you're getting it." Dean's voice broke through Cas' haze.

Cas followed his line of sight to Cas' obvious tent before watching him sit down on his bed. Then scooting up the bed and propping up against the head board.

"Your staying?" If Cas' voice had shook a little when he'd asked, no one said anything.

Why would Dean want to share such a private moment with Cas?

"We don't HAVE to do anything Cas" We could just, you know watch" Dean offered.

That did not sound like a good idea to Cas. He was harder then he'd ever been and he felt closed then he'd ever had to Dean. This must just be what Dean letting his walls down looked like.

So Cas sat down against the head board with his best friend. Just to watch a movie.

"Hey, calm down man. No need to be so stiff."

Cas ignored the poorly made joke. Dean placed a hand high on Cas' thigh to relax him, brushing Cas' now painful erection in the process. He quickly pulled his hand back but did not seem disgusted, as Cas would have thought.

Just pulled away and looked right at Cas, before looking back at the screen with out a word. Cas watched as a new scene started up. Try to concentrate more on what was going on in the movie and not in Dean's bed.

"This is complicated" He broke after some time.

"HmmmH" Was Dean's only response.

Cas was pretty sure Dean wasn't listening, but he went on anyway.

"If the pizza man truly love the baby sitter, why does he keep smacking he ass?" Why she's been bad?"

Cas asked with honest curiosity in his voice.

"Okay!"

Dean shouted, pulling his hand from his crotch, where Cas hadn't even notes he'd been rubbing himself.

"Time for Dean's rules for watching porn"

Cas simply looked at Dean.

"One, you never watch porn in a room full of guys." Dean stated while gesturing with his hand.

"But Dean" Cas broke in " That's exactly what we're doing"

"No, we're Dean and Cas" Dean stated while gesturing between the two. "I've seen your dick before." He ended like that explained it all.

"Oh" Was all Cas shyly answered.

"Two" Dean carried on "We don't talk about porn." Well with anyone else" He quickly threw in.

Cas just nodded, it seemed he was the expectation to many in not all of Dean rules.

"Three, volume will get you caught, so just turn it off." He gestured to the muted TV.

"I see" said Cas. "Now that I know the rules what do we do?"

Cas knew his voice was cracking but hell was he nervous. Maybe that should have been weird.

"Oh come on Cas" Dean levied Cas with a look.

"What you need me to show you?" He asked sarcastically.

Cas could have been embarrassed by this, but Dean had started this so why should he get to act like Cas was being weird. So instead he just stared at Dean an till the boy finally let out a deep huff.

That's when Cas realized it was not Dean huffing at all, but Jo.


End file.
